


The Leslie Knope Diaries

by Missy



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crack, Diary/Journal, Gen, Humor, Post-Canon, Yuletide Madness 2015, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:24:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Leslie Knope is an honest-to-gosh princess who must deal with the art of waving to large crowds, the stonewalling of her royal advisors, and the notion that Genovia might me more beautiful than Pawnee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Leslie Knope Diaries

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oddishly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddishly/gifts).



> You said you wanted a Princess Diaries/Parks fusion? YOU GET ONE! This was a hoot to write. Happy Yuletide!

All right, here’s the good news – and by good news I mean the BEST NEWS EVER. I, Leslie Knope, stunning conversationalist, policy maker and human bulldozer, just learned something _amazing_ about myself.

I. Am. A. P R I N C E S S 

I know, I can’t believe it – I mean I’ve always tried to carry myself like a goddess, but an actual, live princess! I’d keep pinching myself but I was starting to get a thigh bruise and I didn’t want to have to explain it to Ben. It turns out that I have a second cousin who was the daughter of a prince and everyone stayed hush-hush about it until she decided to abdicate the throne to marry a commoner and then guess what? PRINCESS. PRINCESS LESLIE! 

The coronation is tomorrow and I’m so excited! Ann and April are coming with me, the guys are following later. Quick secret, dear diary – I’m going to totally make sure they stay here. I’ll give them cabinet positions or something like that! And it’s going to be amazing and I’m going to MAKE it amazing! I love you Leslie, signed, Leslie

Dear Diary, 

So things are a little trickier than I thought they’d be. I told Ron about my plan first because he’s Ron and he’s great at helping me plan and he said “this country is like Monaco on steroids. They eat lettuce for breakfast. Pass.” Picture me making a little mustache under my lip with my index finger when I wrote that. So I’m going to have to work extra hard on him, but I WILL DO THIS and he will totally love Genovia as much as I do already!

I mean who wouldn’t love a beautiful Mediterranean country where everyone is super nice all the time and the palace is huge and the dowager queen TOTALLY looks like Julie Andrews (don’t tell her that, she gets weird about it if you mention it). And then there’s the food – the food is SO amazing I think I’m going to die. Ben gets here tomorrow and then I’m going to totally convince him to help me convince Ron to stay. Gotta go, tiara fitting time!

 

Dear Diary, 

Everything sucks. Big time nightmare sucks, and it’s sort of my fault but not really. So Ben got here and he brought Sonya and we spent the whole day seeing the sights with the paps following us (that’s what they call the press when you’re famous, The Paps). And I told him Ron didn’t want to stay and he said he could understand why Ron didn’t want to stay, and then a pap jumped out of a bush and asked our daughter what she was wearing and she started screaming. Ben got super mad, and I called the reporter a garbage heap and now we’re not speaking. I’ll try to make it up to him tonight at dinner- cabinet meeting first though. I can’t wait to pitch my first policy changes to the royal adviser team…thing.

 

Dear Diary,

Okay, things with Ben are back on track. Mostly because I mentioned that it’d be super healthy for the kids if we stay here for awhile. The air and water are a lot cleaner than they are in Pawnee (ugh, I want to slap myself for admitting that and EVEN THOUGH IT’S A LITTLE CLEANER NOTHING IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS PAWNEE. And even this place can use a little bit of sprucing up, which is why I went to my royal advisers to suggest policy changes and UGH did that blow the big one…but wait, I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself.

We had a really nice day getting dressed up; Sonya was super into playing with the scissors and stuff the tailors had and she almost cut through her hair but Ben stopped her just in time. I’m wearing a cute peach dress and my hair pinned back in a tasteful bun like Ruth Bader Ginsberg. The boys look pretty miserable until I offered them some chocolate. Then they ate (note to self: is chocolate a laxative?)

It’s all really sweet but back to more important things - the cabinet totally ignored my ideas! ALL of my ideas! They said a princess shouldn’t involve herself with national policy and I should be busy getting ready for my coronation.

Do you know what Ann said when I told her they said that? “Do they know who they’re talking to?” I know right?! So I’m going to keep trying until they listen to me.

 

Dear Diary,

So this morning I was in the middle of an adviser meeting, trying to get them to listen to my ten year plan for improving and beautifying Genovia when suddenly one of them tapped me on the shoulder. They said they’d had a message from the hall of records and you know what? I’m not a princess at all! They were supposed to call somebody else.

Ha Ha I’m going to kill everything.

 

Dear Diary,

So on the positive side at least now I know how to do a royal wave. And I’m keeping the dress. And the tiara. And I think I taught Sonya some important lessons about being true to yourself! And taking the tiara.

Anyway, we’re going back to Pawnee now. Goodbye, Genovia, you old jerkwater berg! I won’t miss you…

….No, I’m kidding I’m totally going to miss you PLEASE keep sending me those fluffy hotel robes and those little pillow chocolates!


End file.
